me hello kitty HK

i hate my life.

i've been crying for an hour.
i've been on edge and bitchy all day..

i want to be settled here... i want to feel like this is home again.
i don't want to feel like this is a step backwards... or a failure. but i do.
i want life to be easy. i want to love myself.
i want someone to love me, and i want a boyfriend. a real one.
i don't want to keep disrespecting myself. i don't want to have to go get tested because i was drunk and let him fuck me with out a condom. i want to believe him when he says he's clean.
i want to be respected. i want to respect myself.
i want this emo to go away.
me hello kitty HK

i'm a hoosier once again.

i'm back in indiana now...
...with a myriad of feelings.

just in time for the race too, lol.

look... i even changed my location in my profile.
SIGH.

me = emo
but i am excited to get everything set up and stuff. i really want to put posters on the walls, lol. then it'll feel like me again. or something... so, dear self. please stop being emo and get your shit together. mmmmkay!? mmmkay.
me hello kitty HK

i had a mini nervous break down this morning...

i literally cried over spilled milk. i knocked over my chocolate milk and just started bawling.
i felt ridiculous. but it was obviously not about the milk.
i couldn't stop crying... i was such a mess that my parents actually told me to go lay down for a while.
i woke up with a migraine this morning and crying made it worse. it was one of the ones that is so bad it makes me nauseous. so i took some imitrex [my migraine medicine] and am finally feeling a bit better, physically anyhow.

when i was laying down i heard my mom say to my dad... 'i think she's really freaking out.'
so they get it. my parents rule.
and when i was packing later my dad came up to me and kissed me on the forehead and said 'just do the best you can.' and that made me feel a million times better.

so needless to say i'm a bit emo again today. but feeling better than i was...
thank you all for your super sweet and understand comments on my last blog.
you guys are all so awesome.
me hello kitty HK

new.

i'm going to be cleaning out my friends list, and revamping my page... so if you wish to stay my friend on here please reply asap! :)
  • Current Mood
    blank blank
shoes!

video blog time!

i have posted these elsewhere... and decided i would start posting there here too. so here is my first video blog, from late february... ;)



ps- i am still alive! i know i haven't posted in forever but here i am. i always come back, lol.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed with maxwell
  • Tags
me hello kitty HK

u u g h .

today sucks.
yesterday sucked.

tomorrow will probably suck too. and thats sad cause it's his birthday.
i need him to need me. i want him to want me.

blah.
  • Current Music
    news on TV
  • Tags