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it's been a while...
Current Mood:
blah blah
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help me!
i've got some serious cash to earn!
i'm going on a road trip out east next week out east and i am so broke! so i've put some stuff up on ebay so have a look and help me out, ok? please...

my ebay.


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Current Mood:
anxious anxious
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lets NOT swing.
i have been having some serious mood swings lately.
and i don't know why... i don't have pms.
it's annoying and makes me feel like a huge bitch.
and thats not a good feeling, in this case.

also, while the acupuncture does seem to be working on my depression, but i'm still really fatigued. i'm hoping it just has to do with the meds i'm still taking. i've been really good about going to bed earlier, but i just can't get up! i looove to sleep, lol. hopefully it will pass so i can be like a real person soon, haha.

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Current Mood:
moody moody
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hoochie woman.
...thats the name of the song. it's by tori amos.
here's me:

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Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
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bah!
FUCK...
just fuck. thats all...

here's a video i made the other day.

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Current Mood:
mad at everything. mad at everything.
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i hate my life.
i've been crying for an hour.
i've been on edge and bitchy all day..

i want to be settled here... i want to feel like this is home again.
i don't want to feel like this is a step backwards... or a failure. but i do.
i want life to be easy. i want to love myself.
i want someone to love me, and i want a boyfriend. a real one.
i don't want to keep disrespecting myself. i don't want to have to go get tested because i was drunk and let him fuck me with out a condom. i want to believe him when he says he's clean.
i want to be respected. i want to respect myself.
i want this emo to go away.

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Current Mood:
EMO as FUCK. EMO as FUCK.
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i'm a hoosier once again.
i'm back in indiana now...
...with a myriad of feelings.

just in time for the race too, lol.

look... i even changed my location in my profile.
SIGH.

me = emo
but i am excited to get everything set up and stuff. i really want to put posters on the walls, lol. then it'll feel like me again. or something... so, dear self. please stop being emo and get your shit together. mmmmkay!? mmmkay.

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Current Mood:
confused confused
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5 years of dust is a LOT
sooo... tomorrow morning my phone and internet are being shut off.
i'm almost all packed and ready to go.. now i just have to CLEAN my apartment. 5 years of dust is a LOT. no joke. watch out indy! here i come.
Current Mood:
pooped pooped
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i had a mini nervous break down this morning...
i literally cried over spilled milk. i knocked over my chocolate milk and just started bawling.
i felt ridiculous. but it was obviously not about the milk.
i couldn't stop crying... i was such a mess that my parents actually told me to go lay down for a while.
i woke up with a migraine this morning and crying made it worse. it was one of the ones that is so bad it makes me nauseous. so i took some imitrex [my migraine medicine] and am finally feeling a bit better, physically anyhow.

when i was laying down i heard my mom say to my dad... 'i think she's really freaking out.'
so they get it. my parents rule.
and when i was packing later my dad came up to me and kissed me on the forehead and said 'just do the best you can.' and that made me feel a million times better.

so needless to say i'm a bit emo again today. but feeling better than i was...
thank you all for your super sweet and understand comments on my last blog.
you guys are all so awesome.

Current Mood:
emo emo
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new.
i'm going to be cleaning out my friends list, and revamping my page... so if you wish to stay my friend on here please reply asap! :)
Current Mood:
blank blank
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video blog time!
i have posted these elsewhere... and decided i would start posting there here too. so here is my first video blog, from late february... ;)



ps- i am still alive! i know i haven't posted in forever but here i am. i always come back, lol.
Current Mood:
annoyed with maxwell annoyed with maxwell
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*giggles*
Current Mood:
sleepy sleepy
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u u g h .
today sucks.
yesterday sucked.

tomorrow will probably suck too. and thats sad cause it's his birthday.
i need him to need me. i want him to want me.

blah.

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Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
news on TV
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i'm emo today.
so i made this.

Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
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b l a h
i feel gross. stuffed nose, watery eyes, and clogged head. aaargh. i just want a hug from my mom and my dad's chickenless noodle soup. yum.
Current Mood:
sick sick
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i fucking hate me.
i am so discontent right now. i had one of those moments in the car on the way home tonight where i just think way to much. and i got all upset.. about things, and people, and mostly myself. everything in my life is so up in the air right now and it makes me so uneasy and agitated and most of all *unhappy*. i just really do suck at life. i mean, 2006 was a total bust. i did much nothing worth while. and now i feel like i'm not worth while. i need to drink a few glasses bottles of wine and start the new year off with a buzzed blur so i can't remember what a failure i am and how much i suck and how no one loves me. [lol, gosh i am so pathetic. and really good at pity parties.]
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
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[not so] little girl lost.
me = lost )
Current Mood:
tired tired
Current Music:
hsn on tv.
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pay my rent!
ebay! )
Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
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l a y o u t
i have some new icons. and a new layout. tell me you love them. lol :)
Current Mood:
sleepy sleepy
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